to finally accomplish a life goal

Ok. time to do an update

1. my computer’s screen is kind of messed up so it’ll crash… wah 

2. turns out my cousin will NOT be coming during summer… boo. -.- 

3. I got a shit load of work from school… damn 

4. I’M GOING TO HAWAII IN AUGUST!!

5. If my cousin isn’t coming, then i wonder if i can go to korea… o.0

6. either way, i’m happy. 

7. GOING TO KICK JUNE’S ASS 

And that means: 

Muscles. Pure muscles and no jiggling. 

I want my legs to look like I earned it. And by god I will get that. 

Basically the New 2Y2M Challenge started when I started the 30 Day Shred on March 19!! 

I’m almost done with the first month!! 

This way I’m more motivated, because this is the longest time I’ve gone with awesome days without cheating, binging, blah blah, fast/junk food. 

So, after the first month, it’ll be the 30 day shred again from level one! and I’m going to try to do the couch to 5k in the mornings before school. 

Ok, so my rant. (feel free to scroll past. I just need to get this out of my brain, chest, body)

I want food. I’m just.. ugh this desire for comfort food has been going on for about 3-4 days. It’s a emotional hunger you can say, and when I look at my motivational stuff or think about why I want this, the hunger goes away. 

But the next day, I’m just wanting it again and again. And to be honest, it’s creating unneeded stress in my system. 

SERIOUSLY. I’m craving a whole pizza, ICE CREAM, cinnamon buns, A WHOLE DAMN CHOCOLATE CAKE, etc. This needs to stop. But I know it won’t go away completely. I’ve been staying strong for the 3-4 days, and the fact that I live next to Ralphs, and millions of other restaurants and shit does not help. 

I kept reminding myself to just stay strong till the 12th. And.. ugh IDK WHAT TO DO. 

I love how my stomach is changing and stuff.. but this stress is absolutely killing me. 

I find myself scrolling through tags of food to just visibly satisfy my hunger for these foods (pathetic i know) 

I’ve been doing so good, I don’t really want to ruin it, but I kept convincing myself that one day of bad eating will not kill me. AND I KNOW. I SERIOUSLY KNOW. 

But that thing is that, knowing I’m letting myself go for one day. I’m afraid I’m going to indulge a bit TOO much. Knowing that this one day is the only day I can get tired of these food… 

well… yeah. this is my rant. and then I saw that the 28th is not that far away, so I’m motivated again.. but this is going to continue tomorrow… blah…

OK. DONE. SORRY FOR THE LONG RANT. I’M OUT. LOG FOR TODAY IS NEXT XD

I’m almost done with it. just 11 more days. And during these 11 days I’ll work my ass off. 

And then I’ll do another workout schedule. 

Also to be honest, I really liked doing the Shred. It was a easy schedule to follow and I sticked with it for this long without missing a day. :) 

So, there ya go. Going to kick my ass this spring break. :) 

Also the 2y2mlog. I’m still going to log in this tag. Because I’ll be starting it again soon after I finish the Shred. :) 

Well, obviously it didn’t go as I wanted, but I’m not discouraged or anything. Since, I started… i don’t know getting serious by the end of it, so I’d say I regret a bit. :) 

I had a quite a few cheat days that just brought me down.. 

Let’s see… I started the 30 Day Shred on March 19 and it is now April 7th. 

I definitely felt and saw a difference( small difference), but I get impatient… Today’s the last day of Level 2 and tomorrow I start Level 3. 

But… I don’t know, I don’t really want to continue this anymore. Should I continue? I’d love to hear some thoughts honestly.. I mean, if I don’t feel like doing it, I won’t be giving it 110%. 

I also miss running.. I ran everyday, but I didn’t really feel or saw a difference. Maybe I’ll still continue 30 Day Shred? I’m still not sure right now, but I have a feeling I’m going to. 

-.- lawls

OK! Let’s see what I have in store to motivate myself. 

April 28th is the Korean Music Festival.. May 5th is a Fair at my city, and I have to do a booth… 

Final Decision? Restart the 2Y2M Challenge. I’ll be ending it on… Somewhere in the first week of June? Which is actually good for me :) 

I’m still thinking of what to do.. Restart 30 Day Shred and add a whole new workout to motivate? Or keep going with the 30 Day Shred..? I’M IN A DILEMMA. DX

argh. even as I type this, I’m still thinking… asdfhkjgdhkgheruialdhgerhfgheirguhger

I’ll give my final decision later when I finally get over this block of discouragement. 

Just wanted to make a post on my goals this year BEFORE SUMMER. 

My cousin (and probably her mom and another cousin) are coming this year probably in mid-june or end of june. 

NOW, my cousin(s) are all over 20 or in their early 20s. I might add that my mom and I are the ONLY ones in the family that live in America and I am the only one who was born in America. So, my mom’s side of the family tends to… eh look up to us. but a bit too much. (and it’s sad because I don’t know my aunts, cousins, uncles’ names and such) -.- mom’s fault for not educating me. 

ANYWHOOO. My cousin is actually a weight loss inspiration. I heard she used to be really big, and was made fun of a lot. But last summer, when I went to Korea, by golly, everyone kept telling us that she lost significant amount of weight, to the fact that she was literally unrecognizable. OF COURSE. INSPIRATION. RIGHT THERE. XD. 

However, I myself always get secretly teased and egged on about my body and weight.

So, my goal was to get fit and satisfied with myself by June 1st or… somewhere before finals week. 

Because, they are coming to America, and I want to shock them! XD This is basically like my turf they are coming to, and oh they better be ready! hahahah! 

But no, the real reason I want to get my dream body before they come, is because I want to have fun with them. I don’t want their expensive once in a lifetime trip to America go to waste because I refuse to go out with them because of my body issues. I want them to have fun and I want to show them how fun LA is and just the freedom and happiness (we’re talking about everyday lives not the government shabang) you can experience here. And I want to be confident and proud when I do this. I want them to see that I have a good life and am working hard to go to college. They get to see how I live and how LA really is. It’s actually harder to explain than I thought…

I just want them to have an unforgettable experience and not hold them back selfishly.  ^^

SO! That’s my motivation for April! Oh and the Korean Music Festival on the 28th. But

my cousins are more important. 

ok! April long talking is over! 

BTW: lost 6 pounds since I started the 30 Day Shred. thank god the water weight is leaving me XD I don’t mind pounds but it’s nice to see that number go down a bit. :) 

wahhh… 

so lazy… 

gonna watch fairy tail or one piece to motivate me on this lazy day -.-

If I do, then it’s probably going to be on Monday, because this week is really easy but schedule filled, so I’m going to stick with what I’m doing this week, and start next week.. 

BUT. IT’S A THOUGHT. AND WHEN I SAY IT’S A THOUGHT, I’M PROBABLY GOING TO DO IT. AHAHAH

But is there a calendar like there was for Insanity?? 

Can anyone message me if there is? I’d really really appreciate it. 

Oh wait.. there’s google.. —.— 

When i want to get serious, i’m seriously like dead straight on it. 

NOTHING BAD on the diet, or anything that I buy from restaurants, and it really annoyed me and my mom. 

But now… I really understand the meaning of moderation. 

In the 10 days of March, I find out that the reason why I haven’t gotten off track was because of my true understanding of moderation. 

I realized, and I mean REALLY realized that this isn’t just about keeping it up for one month. Because, I have to face it. Lets say I actually achieve what I wanted in the month of March, but I slowly started to put not so good food into my eating habits because I think that “I’m ok now”. No. It doesn’t work like that. 

Even after March ends, it’s now a lifestyle. Being all healthy in one month but then using “moderation” the next is just going to mess you up. 

So starting with moderation and keeping it like that for who knows 3 to 4 months, CONGRATULATIONS. YOU HAVE JUST GOTTEN USED TO A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE! 

So, for lunch I’m going to have spaghetti. :) 

And besides, I’ve been making really good choices for the 10 days, even surprising myself. Even if I eat, my belly doesn’t bloat like it used to. 

And it’s just not moderation. EAT. SLOWLY. I can’t stress how much that changed me.

Like seriously though guys, I didn’t touch bad food at all the last 10 days. The only thing that was like WOAHHH was yesterday’s Whole Foods bar and today’s soon to be in my belly spaghetti. 

One last comment: When you eat in moderation, your body will change itself, like, there’s no HEALTHY THEN NOT HEALTHY. Your body just knows… It’s so hard to explain, but so fascinating.. o.o 

Alright, done with my too much excited, discovered my life rant! 

So my friend sent me a video over skype 

and guys..

I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD FOR OVER 10 MINUTES. 

I haven’t laughed this hard in so long, and it felt great. 

My abs were worked, i’m in a great mood, and now i’ll be going to bed 

But if any of you wish to get an awesome ab workout and feel FREAKING AMAZING afterwards, search CATMARIO GAME by Chonny. 

This. IS. FREAKING. HILARIOUS. I LOVE IT. I watched the other two because i just had to. More laughing, more ab working. XD 

I seriously struck gold guys… XDXDXDXD gotta thank him. 

ENJOY! And good night! :)

LIKE HEAVEN I TELL YOU!!!!!! 

After finals next week, it’s all new. 

New page, maybe new theme (maybe not), new motivation, new mindset. 

NEW EVERYTHING!!!! I’M SO FREAKING READY IT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY. MUAHAHAHA

Fuck yeah for fresh start for the new semester! :) 

April (or spring), here I come! XD 

I find it very sad that it took me three… THREE years to realize that I had a healthy, “something I would be proud of” body. 

But because I failed to realize that, I am now what I am. 

Looking through this 2008 vid… I started crying. Why? 

Because I had what I want now. Non-jiggly arms, flat stomach (could tone it up, but nonetheless, flat.), lean muscular legs (which I thought were the fattest thing in the world, and could have slimmed it down, but other than that, I would be happy with now). 

But what am I stuck with now? Because I let myself go? Fat. Hideously fat. 

I want to skate. I really want to skate. 

If I just focused more, I could have been content! I could have been happy. 

But I’m not. 

So what is the new game plan? 

Don’t fucking lose control. I had enough of this bullshit. I could have reached my goal months ago. But nope. Because of my laziness and excuses, I didn’t. 

But fuck it now. Because I’m in the zone. Last week of December is already down the drain. I can’t change it no matter what. But I’m going to make sure that it is a week where I know I’ll be happy with to start 2012. 

There’s so many things I want to say, but… I’m just too overwhelmed to actually write it down. 

This was like… literally a huge bitch slap across the face for me. Thank you video! 

I’ve never had these emotions build up like this before. It’s… awesome. :) 

I’ve decided I’m going to go to the public session on Friday. I haven’t set foot on ice in more than 4 months. I’m really excited. :)

But other than that, I can’t wait till tomorrow and Friday is over, because it means… WINTER BREAK!! :D 

Gotta get my ass back in the game. I’m GOING TO FUCKING REACH MY GOAL BY THE 21ST IN JAN. 

end of long rant. ^^

P.S video will not upload… so I’ll try to get something in… 

NOW PLEASE. LET’S SHRINK THAT FREAKING WAIST.